Thanks

Terpuruk atau bangkit ?

Itulah pilihan yang mungkin akan orang rasakan ketika ia menyadari bahwa dirinya harus berdiri diatas kakinya sendiri. Menyadari bahwa tak ada lagi orang yang selalu setia disampingnya. khususnya orang yang ia cintai.

Berat rasanya ketika harus jujur dan menyakiti orang tersebut dan juga lelah rasanya untuk menyimpan rasa yang ingin sekali kita utarakan. sungguh mengiris hati, merusak jiwa, menghantui fikiran dan merusak diri.

Terpuruk, ketika kita tidak ingin mengambil keputusan untuk memperbaiki semua keadaan. menjauh dari cobaan and let that problems terus berkembang biak menjadi banyak tanpa disadari.
Bangkit, ketika kita sadar harus memperbaiki semua keadaan yang salah. Usually, we got confused what should we do first? right ?

So, thats what I feel now. I got confused of what should I do in this situation ? Should I let she go or I should talk with her. Tapi aku gak bisa ngomong langsung gitu. Cause I know, it will make her hurt. Sumpa. Bingung banget! dan sialnya, there is no one understand me. no one had a same feel with me. They just let she go with him. But I dont like it. It make me alone in home. I always give my time to her, especially when her home. but, you know what ? She's just go with him dan dia.... diaa... like never think about me! pengen banget deh bilang ke beliau begini ?

DONT YOU EVER THINK ABOUT ME ? I'M YOUR DAUGHTER! YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT I FEEL WHEN YOU GO WITH HIM. YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT I FEEL, WHEN I KNOW YOU OFTEN HANGOUT WITH HIS DAUGHTER ? HEEY!!!! WHAT ABOUT ME ? YOU NEVER ASK ME TO HANGOUT WITH ME! YOU NEVER DRIVE ME TO ANYWHERE I WANT. I GOT JEALOUS A LOT !!!! DONT YOU EVER THINK THAT ?!

You know what ? pengen deh rasanya bilang "I hate you" but I won't. Karena beliau orang yang sangat saya cinta. orang yang pengen saya lindungi. Aku gak mau biarkan beliau fall and hurt again.

I still have father, when he in our home (long time ago) he always busy with his work. I dont know what it is, but now...... he remarried and I rare meet them anymore. and you, mom. you come home and you just hangout with others. you never ask me to hangout. when you were home, I cancel all my plan with my boyF. except if I have band competition. Mom, I won't loss you anymore, like I loss my father. So will you understand ? will you thinking about me ? 

Kau pulang dan pergi membawakan semua yang kubutuhkan, kecuali satu. Waktu mu, waktu yang dlu pernah aku miliki sepenuhnya ketika kamu dirumah. Sepertinya aku tidak akan pernah mendapatkan waktu itu lagi.